Tag Archives: compulsory heterosexuality

Chile: Corrective rape allegations against uncle of lesbian’s ex partner

Lesbians in Chile

The first complaint of corrective rape against a woman in El Maule was filed this Monday at the Guarantee Court of Talca.

The legal action was filed by the lawyer Rodrigo Medina, of the Legal Clinic of the University of Santo Tomás, thanks to an agreement that exists with the Homosexual Integration and Liberation Movement (Movilh) Maule.

“The incident happened a little over a month ago and where the uncle of our client’s ex-partner raped her and rebuked her for her sexuality while committing the assault,” said the lawyer.

The complainant added that “the subject is free and my representative will testify on Friday. The complaint was made with the aggravating of article 12 number 21 of the Criminal Code Law to execute the crime for reasons of hatred towards sexual orientation.”
(Translated)

La primera querella por violación homofóbica contra de una mujer en El Maule fue presentada este lunes en el Tribunal de Garantía de Talca.

La acción judicial fue interpuesta por el abogado Rodrigo Medina, de la Clínica Jurídica de la Universidad Santo Tomás, gracias a un convenio que existe con el Movimiento de Integración y Liberación Homosexual (Movilh) Maule.

“El hecho ocurrió hace poco más de un mes y en donde el tío de la ex pareja de nuestra representada la violó y la increpó por su condición sexual mientras cometía la agresión”, dijo el jurista.

El abogado querellante agregó que “el sujeto está en libertad y mi representada declarará el viernes. Se hizo la denuncia con la agravante del artículo 12 número 21 de la Ley del Código Penal para ejecutar el delito por razones de odio hacia la orientación sexual”.
(Original)

Contimnue reading at: https://www.cooperativa.cl/noticias/pais/region-del-maule/presentan-querella-por-violacion-homofobica-a-una-mujer-en-el-maule/2019-07-29/135009.html (Source)

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Chile: Lesbian conversion therapy as a child

Chile lesbians

By Camila Toro Aguirre

In spite of the historical advances that the movement for the rights of the LGBTIQ+ community has achieved, conversion therapies are still practiced behind the walls of numerous psychological providers in Chile.
A pseudoscientific method that seeks to “cure homosexuality” psychologically, limiting and repressing any type of sexual orientation that does not conform to heterosexuality.
However, it is proven that there is nothing good in these treatments. According to the World Psychiatric Association, those who attend these therapies often “develop addictions, suicidal tendencies, sexual disorders and depression.”
In Chile in the 2000s, Carmina Vásquez, an accomplished lawyer from the University of Chile and a member of the Lesbofeminist Network in support of the LGBTIQ + community, attended conversion therapy for the first time when she was only 14 years old.
(Translated)

A pesar de los históricos avances que ha logrado el movimiento por los derechos de la comunidad LGBTIQ+, detrás de las paredes de numerosas consultas psicológicas de Chile todavía se practican las terapias de reconversión sexual.
Un método pseudocientífico que desde la psicología busca “curar la homosexualidad”, limitando y reprimiendo cualquier tipo de orientación sexual que no se ajuste a la heteronorma.
Sin embargo, está demostrado que no hay nada de bueno en estos tratamientos. Según la Asociación Mundial de Psiquiatría, quienes asisten a estas terapias suelen “generar adicciones, tendencias suicidas, trastornos sexuales y depresión”.
En un Chile de los 2000, Carmina Vásquez, una realizada abogada de la Universidad de Chile e integrante de la Red Lesbofeminista en apoyo a la comunidad LGBTIQ+, asistió por primera vez a una terapia de reconversión sexual cuando sólo tenía 14 años.
(Original)

Continue reading at: https://m.elmostrador.cl/braga/2019/07/24/lesbianismo-el-amor-no-se-cura/ (Source)

South Africa: Judge upholds life sentences for corrective rape of lesbians

Judge Violet Phatshoane

Judge Violet Phatshoane said what the rapist did was ‘repulsive and unpardonable’. Image: University of the Free State

A man who believed in “corrective rape” for lesbians has failed in an appeal against two life sentences.

Zabathini Jonas, from Petrusville in the Northern Cape, twice raped a 24-year-old woman, and told a magistrate in Philipstown that he “wanted to correct homosexual girls”.

After being convicted and jailed, the 30-year-old father of two appealed to the high court in Kimberley.

Judge Violet Phatshoane sent him packing last week, saying what he had done was “quite repulsive and unpardonable”.

She added: “The so-called ‘corrective rape’ is evil and cannot be countenanced. What [Jonas] did [to his victim] was to pulverise her sense of belonging and self-expression.”

Continue reading at: https://www.timeslive.co.za/news/south-africa/2019-07-24-youre-repulsive-judge-upholds-life-terms-for-rapist-who-targeted-lesbians/ (Source)

Lesbian activist Gerald Hayo: corrective rape is a common practice in Kenya

Gerald Hayo

Kenya is one of the 70 countries in the world that as of March 2019 criminalizes having sex with someone of the same sex. Currently, being gay in Kenya is punishable by up to 14 years in prison. The situation is aggravated if you are a lesbian woman, as is the case of Gerald Hayo, who survived a multiple corrective rape organized by her own family. The activist is now dedicating her life to fighting for the rights of lesbian, bisexual and queer (LBQ) women in the African country. Fire!!, the International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival in Barcelona, ​​has premiered the documentary Now you are woman by journalist Alba Muñoz, in which Hayo tells her story to the world. At a time when talking involves exposing oneself, Hayo wants to break with the systematic silence that makes invisible the violations of human rights and the inequality suffered by Kenyan women who do not follow the mandate of heterosexuality.
(Translated)

Kenia es uno de los 70 países del mundo que a fecha de marzo de 2019 criminaliza tener relaciones con alguien de tu mismo sexo. Actualmente, ser homosexual en Kenia se castiga con hasta 14 años de prisión. La situación se agrava si eres una mujer lesbiana, como es el caso de Gerald Hayo, que sobrevivió a una violación múltiple correctiva organizada por su propia familia. La activista dedica ahora su vida a luchar por los derechos de las mujeres lesbianas, bisexuales y queer (LBQ) del país africano. Fire!!, la Muestra Internacional de cine Gay y Lésbico de Barcelona, ha estrenado … el documental Now you are woman de la periodista Alba Muñoz, en el que Hayo relata su historia al mundo. En un momento en el que hablar supone exponerse, Hayo quiere romper con el silencio sistemático que invisibiliza las vulneraciones de derechos humanos y la desigualdad que sufren las mujeres keniatas que no siguen el mandato de la heterosexualidad.
(Original)

Continue reading at: https://www.elsaltodiario.com/kenia/gerald-hayo-las-violaciones-correctivas-a-mujeres-lbq-son-una-practica-comun-en-kenia- (Source)

Costa Rica: lesbian forced to wear dress then brutally murdered

Stephannye Paola Castro Mora

(November 2018)

Those who knew Steph [Stephannye Paola Castro Mora] said that she had a style of dress, and that she never wore dresses or skirts. Hence, the psychologist who has evaluated this case on account of the hatred with which her murderers tried to humiliate her before killing her, putting a dress on her. “In this particular case not only hate, intolerance and excessive anger toward the sexual orientation of the victim are denoted, but also the imposition of their own code and how he (or the murderers) think must express the sexuality of a woman (with a dress)” commented Ana Yancy Benavides. …
We are filled with rage at the murder of this young woman who worked as a security guard, a girl who was the target of deranged just because of her sexual orientation, because she did not fulfil the heterosexual and feminine “codes” that the lesbophobes wanted to see in them.
(Translated)

Los que conocían a Steph decían que tenía un estilo muy propio de vestir, y que jamás usaba vestidos ni faldas. De ahí que la psicóloga que ha evaluado este caso de cuenta del odio con el que sus asesinos intentaron humillarla antes de matarla, poniéndole un vestido. “En este caso particular no solo se denotan odio, intolerancia y enojo desmedido hacia la orientación sexual de la víctima, sino también la imposición de su propio código y como él (o los asesinos) piensan debe expresarse la sexualidad de una mujer (con un vestido)”, comentó Ana Yancy Benavides. …
Nos llena de rabia el asesinato de esta joven mujer que trabajaba como guardia de seguridad, una chica que fue el blanco de desquiciados sólo por su orientación sexual, por no cumplir los “códigos” heterosexuales y femeninos que los lesbófobos querían ver en ellas.
(Original)

Continue reading at: http://www.mirales.es/asesinan-a-una-chica-lesbiana-e-intentan-humillarla-poniendole-un-vestido/ (Source)

Girlhood Interrupted – The Path of Desistance

Listening 2 Lesbians is excited to see a new space for lesbian voices in the creation of The Velvet Chronicle.

Chiara

Chiara Canaan
The Velvet Chronicle

“The view from my window is of the house next door, and a little winding road that leads to a local co-op… I wish my life, like this view, could’ve been so simple.

When I was fifteen, I had a girlfriend who used to hold my hand in the halls. Our song was “I Will Wait” by Mumford & Sons. And when it ended, I got lost in screens, in an alternate reality. It’d be three years till I found my way. My childhood was interrupted. I can’t change that—but I can fight for other young people, in the hope that they might not have to go through the same thing. ”

Continue reading more of Chiara Canaan at: http://thevelvetchronicle.com/path-of-desistance-childhood-interrupted/ (Source)

Being lesbian in Sri Lanka

kirtika-sri-lanka.jpg

“When I was 14 years old I realised I totally liked women. The other party was an English teacher. But at that time there was no word “lesbian” around me, only confusion. No one told me. Or everyone treated homosexuality as something that should not be.”

She has found the word “lesbian” that represents her mind on the Internet, but that was not yet common. When I confessed to my parents, they said, “It’s a transient illness,” and her parents also cried or got angry. Then she spent her teens without telling anyone.
(Translated)

自分が完全に女性が好きだと気が付いたのが14歳のとき。相手は英語の先生だった。でもその当時は自分の周りには”レズビアン”という言葉はなく、ただ混乱するのみ。誰も教えてくれなかった。というか誰もが同性愛はあってはいけないものと扱っていた。

彼女はまだ一般的でなかったインターネットでなんとか自分の心を表す”レズビアン”という言葉を見つけた。両親に打ち明けると「それは一過性の病気」と言われ、彼女の両親も泣いたり、怒ったり。それから彼女は誰にも打ち明けることのないまま10代を過ごした。

(Original)

TO KILL A WOMAN, YOU DON’T NEED MUCH – THE STORY OF A CHECHEN LESBIAN WHO FLED FROM RUSSIA

To kill a lesbian in Chechnya

My family learned about my orientation from my girlfriend. She told my family – I do not know why. She is not a Chechen. After that, I started having problems, and I stopped communicating with her. I ran away from home twice. The first time I ran away, I was actively searched. Where I am hiding, my girlfriend told my relatives. After that, one of the brothers came for me, and we went home. My mother was unhappy with this. She told her brother: “Why did you bring her home? You should have shot her somewhere in the forest, as we agreed. ” But the brother did not do it – my father forbade him to do it.
(Translated)

О моей ориентации домашние узнали от моей девушки. Она рассказала моей семье – не знаю зачем. Она не чеченка. После этого у меня начались проблемы, и я перестала с ней общаться. Я дважды убегала из дома. В первый раз, когда я убежала, меня активно искали. Где я скрываюсь, моим родственникам рассказала моя девушка. После этого за мной приехал один из братьев, и мы поехали домой. Моя мама была недовольна этим. Она сказала брату: «Зачем ты привез ее домой? Ты должен был ее где-нибудь в лесу расстрелять, как мы и договаривались». Но брат этого не сделал – мой отец запретил ему это делать.
(Original)

Continue reading at: https://www.currenttime.tv/a/chechen-lgbt-refugee-monologue/29769095.html

Chechen lesbians: murdered, abused and assaulted just like the gay men

This is a translation of an article by Ilya Panin at the Aids Centre Russia. The article is located here and IP for the original article is fully retained by the original writer. A condensed version of the original article is also produced on the original site.

Translation was undertaken by Phil S and we thank her for her generous support.

In Moscow on the 10th February, on the day of human rights, human rights advocates presented “a report on the results of the amount of violence received by lesbian, bisexual and transgender women in the Northern Caucasus in the Russian Federation.” Aids.center is publishing the proceedings, as well as the discussion with a Chechen lesbian about the proceedings with LGBT people in the Russian Caucasus.

The presentation of the report was carried out in complete secrecy: the centre of Moscow, a basement room. Such scenes are more suited to signing secret protocols and journalists have been asked not to name the place where the presentation took place, nor the authors of the study, in their notes, nor their names – the organizers seriously fear for their own lives.  And they have reason to fear – one of the female respondents, whose evidence was used for the document, recently died. In the village, where she lived, they said that she “poisoned herself”. One still hasn’t been in touch.

There still exists a serious stigmatisation of LGBT people in Russian society, especially in the North Caucasus republic, where the situation deepens with traditional and religious aspects.

Queer women of the caucasus 1

Illustration 1 from “the report on violence against queer women of the Caucasus”

Illustration translation:
The violence suffered from law enforcement officers
Physical: 14%, sexual: 10%, psychological: 38%

 

In 2017 the leading Russian media published material detailing the kidnappings, violence and torturing of gay men in Chechnya, they mentioned practically nothing about LGBT women: “the first wave of treatment was against men. The treatment of women remained invisible,” one authors states.

In total, twenty-one residents from Chechnya, Dagestan, Ingushetia and North Ossetia took part in the study. One of them was a transgender woman. Five more, who were contacted by researchers, refused to participate.

Not leaving the accommodation, we speak to Kamilla, not her real name, but she asks to call herself this. A Chechen woman, she was born not far from Grozny. In a village which she has asked us not to publish. She has already lived in Moscow for 2 years.

Queer women of the caucasus 2

Illustration 2 from “the report on violence against queer women of the Caucasus”

Illustration translation:
33% attempted suicide –
copyright “Queer Women in Northern Caucasus” project 2018 funded by Genrich Bellya (Moscow)

 

Short hair, sports jacket, leggings. She speaks very quietly, her lips tightly pursed. She’s a lesbian and the only member of the study daring to talk to the reporters in person.

“In Grozny, my friends and I had our own small community of ‘non-traditional orientation’. We met in a flat, we hung out together. It’s not like we were drinking, we would simply simple and talk. Talk quietly. Now 70-80% of the guys and girls have left the republic. Only those with children and families have stayed,” she says. “The police came for some of those who stayed, but they were released in exchange for bribes. No one admitted to what they “are”, because if we admitted it, they would simply kill us. So, it’s a miracle that we were saved. People collected money, brought it to the flat, as a ransom. Then they ran.”

 

Queer women of the caucasus 3

Illustration 3 from “the report on violence against queer women of the Caucasus”

Illustration translation:
The outing and coming out of lesbian, bisexual and transgender women in their families in the Northern Caucasus
“My brother came home from work and started to look for me. He found me with a girl. We were walking in the street. He started to brutally beat me, he beat me on the head, on my face…in the street. My cousin (male) took me home. My brother said that he would kill me, take me to the outskirts of the city and simply kill me there. I was a shame to the family and a constant problem” (CH. R)
38% told us of honour killings of their relatives and (female) friends

 

The Guardians of Islam

Kamilla is now around 35 years old. 29% of those surveyed during the study stated that they had suffered from sexual violence. Researchers in these situations shared the sexual violence in their families and with their spouse. Kamilla escaped this. But she did not escape the loneliness and isolation that many homosexual women face upon leaving their familial home.

“I can’t cut ties with my mother, because we are very close,” Kamilla says so quietly, that you can barely make out the words. “During my time here, I have even gone home to see her twice. I miss her. I haven’t come out. But my mum always sees my way of life: that I socialise with girls. She has never insisted that I stop all this, only got upset, that I don’t live like everyone else. My (female) cousins got married long ago, they had several children, even those younger than me. It upsets her. The male half, of course, knows nothing.”

“No one admitted to what they ‘are’, because if we admitted it, they would simply kill us”

Due to the specific way of life and risks associated with it, ‘coming out’ is rarely done in North Caucasus.  More often, there is an ‘outing’ when an acquaintance, former partner, relative or neighbour tells others about the “non-traditional” sexual preferences or gender identity of someone.

Only one women from those who agreed to talk to researchers came out to her family, but her fate is now unknown: she went missing after a while and all contact has been lost.

“When people are outed, they become outcasts. The family tries to influence them, either physically or morally. Life after this in the Republic is not an option. In every case, you need to leave,” Kamilla verifies. We speak right in the corner of the room, in a safe space, where no one can find us, there are only a few people in the room. But even in this setting, distrust and tension can be felt.

“When I came to study and work in Grozny, my brother blamed me for not living with my mum in my hometown, but I was always bored with my classmates. At this point, I started to become friends with girls through the internet and to travel to a friend in the neighbouring republic.”

Queer women of the caucasus 4

Illustration 4 from “the report on violence against queer women of the Caucasus”

Illustration translation:
24% victims of religious torture
38% witnesses of honour killings of their relatives, friends, acquaintances

 

The more I tried living on my own, the more pressure and threats I received. In Chechnya, it is believed that the male half of the father’s line is responsible for the girl. The same nephews or cousins on the father’s side.

“Now I’m trying to leave the country, I’m waiting for a response. But as far as I know, they can also reach me abroad,” Kamilla continues, carefully choosing her words, “it happened to my friend, they even wrote about him in the paper, he got to know some Chechens online, went on a date, and they turned out to be “Guardians of Islam” and pushed him into a car. Thankfully, he wasn’t a Chechen, but from a neighbouring republic. Otherwise everything could have ended badly, and so he was released.”

 

Undercover marriage

As a rule, underlined by the authors of the report, after relatives learn that a member of the family belongs to the LGBT community, the family is considered to be ‘disgraced’. The purity of the reputation happens through “honour killings”, a practise which is still carried out in Northern Caucasus. 38% of the respondents who participated in the study said that they had not only heard of “honour killings” but personally knew acquaintances or (female) friends who had been killed in this way “due to behaviour that disgraces the family.”

Queer women of the caucasus 5

Illustration 5 from “the report on violence against queer women of the Caucasus”

Illustration translation:
The outing and coming out of lesbian, bisexual and transgender women in their families in the Northern Caucasus
“One of them said that I needed a “purifying of demonic blood” ritual. To do this, my parents pierced the skin of my back with needles, and made small outlines on my arms and legs. They took such a thing…a vacuum, to get the blood. After this I was put in a bath with very salty water and I had to lie there” (CH R)
Undergoing the practice of “chasing out of Djinns” – 24%

 

Forced marriage is an alternative form of “purifying the reputation”. Of the respondents, nine admitted that they were or had been in forced marriages. Seven of the eight women who had gone through a forced marriage, said that their marriage took place after their outing. That is, after relatives received confirmation of their sexual orientation from third parties: for example, through correspondence or personal photographs.

However, events do not always take such a serious turn. Needles to say, open marriage between LGBT people in the Caucasus is forbidden. But family-imposed marriages with the “right” husband can be both a form of punishment and salvation, often being the only way a woman can live relatively normally, without arousing suspicion.

“I still have a tense relationship with my relatives, they believe that I need to come home and get married. I was proposed to not once but twice. They gave out my number, sent grooms,” Kamilla recounts her personal life.

“In the event of an outing, the person becomes an outcast. The family tries to influence them, either physically or morally. Living in the Republic after this is not an option. You need to leave in any situation.”

“To those who are sent, I can’t respond sharply or rudely, as I don’t want to arouse suspicion. There’s technology. We need to break contact slowly with these young men. It’s stressful, of course. But it could be worse. There are families where a father and brother have ordered it, and the girl cannot get out, because a girl must submit to an adult. That’s not happened to me,” she explains.

“Undercover marriage” is a fictitious marriage which often takes place between a homosexual man and woman, so that they can appear to their parents as a “fully-fledged” traditional family.

“I attempted this,” Kamilla says, “we met through the internet. He knew everything about me, I wasn’t against it. In time we became friends. Fictitious marriage is a saviour for women. She can’t go anywhere alone, she can’t travel alone, and she can’t live alone. Men, if they’re not suspected of being gay, have more possibilities to move. But if there are suspicions that the guy isn’t like everyone else, that he isn’t interested in the opposite sex, that there are no dates, it’s not so easy…rumours spread quickly. That’s why they try to marry, to reassure the family. My marriage didn’t happen because at the very last moment the guy got HIV.”

Such legalised forms of relationships give a feeling of security, the authors of the report say, however, patriarchal foundations often hit and this is a fact in a fictitious marriage. Not only heterosexual men but also gay and bisexual men continue to try to completely control their wives, using violent practises, despite the forced and feigned nature of the partnership itself.

Queer women of the caucasus 6

Illustration 6 from “the report on violence against queer women of the Caucasus”

Illustration translation:
Psychological condition of LGBT women, having lived through violence and hate speech
29% self-harm
43% suicidal thoughts
33% attempt suicide

 

Fear of Djinns

It may seem strange that in traditional Caucasus society the practise of “chasing out the Djinns” is still carried out, it is customary to ‘correct’ or ‘heal’ LGBT people through rites of exorcism.

Researchers explain that even parents with a higher education often converse with “specialists on chasing out Djinns.” Moreover, women themselves often believe in the diabolical essence of their desires: a “male djinn” living inside them and the like. The process of expelling the Djinns, after their sexual orientation had been discovered by relatives, had been suffered by 5 out of 21 respondents.

In general, the authors of the report underline that the stigma, the general atmosphere of fear in which homosexual in the Caucasus live, often doesn’t allow them to seek help in time, even in situations of mortal danger. 100% of the respondents in this study claimed to have experienced both physical and psychological violence.

Queer women of the caucasus 7

Illustration 7 from “the report on violence against queer women of the Caucasus”

Illustration translation:
The outing and coming out of lesbian, bisexual and transgender women in their families in the Northern Caucasus
“My brother sat next to me on his knees, he gave me a pistol…he was crying, I swear, he was crying and he was saying, “I gave father my word that I would not kill you. I beg you, shoot yourself, and just shoot yourself!” and…like a zombie, I went up to him and I gave the pistol to him and I said “you want it, so kill me yourself. I’m not going to shoot myself.” And he said, “If you kill yourself, all this will end, we will tell people that it was an accident” (Ch.P) 

14% survived a direct order to commit suicide.

 

“Even if this report doesn’t change anything and nothing else happens, it’s important that we share it, it’s important that you hear us,” Kamilla concludes towards the end of our conversation, “it’s important that there are people with whom we can just share this with. Someone we can trust. In our region, we know about violence, we have nowhere to turn to, there are Russian laws, but nobody complains about the fact that they’re not complied to. It’s a completely different world there. In traditional families, the person must either live with their relatives or have their own family. Otherwise you will be alone, an outcast, and most of us simply do not have the freedom of choice. What we can wear, who we can talk to, how we can live and in which city, with a male or female partner. Women must be women, men must be men, and everyone has their responsibility. But, nevertheless, I dream of having the freedom to choose”

For the first few days after the presentation, the authors didn’t publish the report online, fearing for their own safety. Today, it went out on an overseas site. Unfortunately, to date, those who are at risk of being exposed are not only those who do not fit into the “traditional” ideas according to local customs, but also human rights activists, researchers and journalists covering “uncomfortable topics”, often beyond the law, discussing the lives of the people there.
The Caucasus.
Where human rights do not exist.

Original Russian article: https://spid.center/ru/articles/2223 (Source)

 

Harassment and teasing: what lesbians live in Peru

Carolia Silva Santisteban

If I go out with my girlfriend or with the girl that I am in that moment I have to consider in what district I am to know how expressive I am going to be for my integrity and the safety of the person who accompanies me. I have a male gender expression … I am exposed to teasing and insults.
(Translated)

Si yo salgo con mi novia o con la chica que estoy en ese momento tengo que considerar en qué distrito estoy para saber qué tan expresiva voy a ser por mi integridad y la seguridad de la persona que me acompaña. También está el acoso callejero. Tengo una expresión de género masculina… Estoy expuesta a burlas e insultos.
(Original)

Continue reading at: https://peru21.pe/peru/carolina-silva-santisteban-lesbiana-peru-464305 (Source)

Chile: Corrective Rape of lesbians – the silenced attack

chile

Committed by neighborhood friends or close relatives – parents or siblings in the most sordid cases – who do not accept lesbianism, corrective rape pursues the idea of ​​”amending” the orientation of their victims through sexual assault. Different groups started the fight to make visible and fight a crime that is not yet recognized, but it seems to be more and more present.
(Translated)

Cometido por amigos del barrio o familiares cercanos -padres o hermanos en los casos más sórdidos- que no aceptan el lesbianismo, la violación correctiva persigue la idea de “enmendar” la orientación de sus víctimas mediante la agresión sexual. Distintos colectivos iniciaron la lucha por visibilizar y combatir un delito que aún no es reconocido, pero parece estar cada vez más presente.
(Original)
Continue reading at: https://www.latercera.com/reportajes/noticia/violacion-correctiva-el-ataque-silenciado/551274/ (Source)

Chile – Corrective rape and the justice system

Lesbianas Existimos y Resistimos

On Friday, February 15, María José Moreno, San Bernardo guarantee judge, decided not to close a case for corrective rape denounced by a 22-year-old girl against her uncle. Previously, the San Bernardo Prosecutor’s Office had determined that there was no background necessary to establish the crime of rape. Carmen was in college, she was 20 years old when she went to live with her uncles, due to the precarious economic situation in her home. The relationship was good, that she was devoted to her aunt and to a great fatherly admiration for her uncle. Carmen is a lesbian and a large part of her family, including her uncles, they knew it, but after a few months of coexistence she began to receive questions about her sexual orientation. Her uncle doubted that she was a lesbian. According to the complaint, he began to offer “his toy”, referring to his penis, so that “you can enjoy and know what a man is,” he repeated insistently. Later he forced her to have sex, a fact that was reiterated on several occasions, and even outside of her home.
(Translated)
El viernes 15 de febrero, María José Moreno, jueza de garantía de San Bernardo, decidió no cerrar una causa por violación correctiva denunciada por una joven de 22 años en contra de su tío. Anteriormente la Fiscalía de San Bernardo había determinado que no existían los antecedentes necesarios para que se constituyera el delito de violación. Carmen estaba en la universidad, tenía 20 años cuando se fue a vivir a casa de sus tíos, debido a la precaria situación económica en su hogar. La relación era buena, querendona con su tía y de una gran admiración paternal hacia su tío. Carmen es lesbianaz y gran parte de su familia, incluidos sus tíos, lo sabían, pero pasado unos meses de convivencia empezó a recibir cuestionamientos respecto de su orientación sexual. Su tío ponía en duda que fuera lesbiana. Según narra en la denuncia, él comenzó a ofrecerle “su juguete”, refiriéndose a su pene, para “que puedas disfrutar y conocer lo que es un hombre”, le repetía con insistencia. Al tiempo después la obligó a tener relaciones sexuales, hecho que se reiteró en diversas ocasiones, y hasta fuera de su hogar.
(Original)

India: Lesbian couple seeks protection from Rajasthan High Court

Map of India

JAIPUR: A lesbian couple on Tuesday approached the Rajasthan High Court seeking protection for their life and to restrain their families from forcing them to get married to men.

The girls , belonging to the backward Bairwa and Koli communities, are from the same village Gudha Ashiqpura in Dausa district.

Continue reading at: https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/68177532.cms  (Source)

Chile: young lesbian raped by stepfather then beaten by father for her sexuality

 

chile

A 14-year-old girl in Chile revealed her stepfather allegedly raped her. But [her] biological father who beat her saying she deserved to be raped ‘for being a lesbian’. The girl told her partner in December that her stepfather had raped her the year before. Her mother then sent her away to live with her biological father, but she was not safer there either. According to Chile’s main LGBTI organization, Movilh, her evangelical Christian father allegedly has kept the girl detained illegally. He has also stopped her from speaking to anyone and beat her with a leash. He claimed she deserved the rape and that he beat her to get the ‘bad out of her’.

Continue reading at: https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/father-of-raped-daughter-said-she-deserved-it-for-being-a-lesbian/#gs.XS9ENA9V (Source)

Chechyna: little news on lesbians in latest crackdown

Listening2Lesbians has been unable to find any specific information on what is happening to Chechen lesbians, except for reports which note that both lesbians and gay men have been detained. In 2017, informations on lesbians was similarly scarce, with reports emerging later that confirmed lesbians were often trapped in the private realm, suffering double oppression as women and homosexuals.

Listening2Lesbians has reached out to advocates, seeking information on the plight of lesbians in Chechnya through this escalation in anti lesbian and gay persecution.

Anyone with additional information is asked to contact us via:

2017 Listening2Lesbians articles:

 

2017 articles not previously shared on Listening2Lesbians:


chechnya 2017

A spokesman for Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov,  told the Interfax news agency on Monday that the reports are “complete lies and don’t have an ounce of truth in them.” He insists that no LGBT people have been detained. But the Russian LGBT Network claims they have been helping the victims and on Monday said about 40 men and women have been detained since December and two have died as a result of torture. The detainees are believed to be kept in the same facility that was named in the 2017 reports.

First reports of the crackdown appeared on Friday, but activist did not release any details until Monday. “Widespread detentions, torture and killings of gay people have resumed in Chechnya,” Igor Kochetkov, program director at the Russian LGBT Network said. “Persecution of men and women suspected of being gay never stopped. It’s only that its scale has been changing.”

Continue reading at: https://sdgln.com/news/2019/01/14/chechnya-gay-purge-resumes-2-dead-40-custody-reports-say (Source)

Lesbian survival in rural Bundelkhand, India

deepshika (l) and abhilasha (r) in hamirpur

For the past six years, Abhilasha and Deepshika had endured forced separation, marriages to men they did not desire, humiliation and constant taunts from their families. Their “marriage by media” was the result of love, fear that their families might kill them, and confusion as they — and their lawyer — mistakenly thought that same-sex marriage was legal in India. It isn’t. In September 2018, the Indian Supreme Court judgement overturned a colonial-era law banning gay sex. The court stopped short of legalising gay marriage but, as Abhilasha and Deepshika’s story reveals, people in love are forcing a national reckoning in pockets of India long considered too parochial, socially conservative, or outright dangerous to consider the possibility that two women may want to spend the rest of their lives together.

Continue reading at: https://www.huffingtonpost.in/entry/in-rural-bundelkhand-a-lesbian-couple-tries-to-make-a-life_in_5c3c1289e4b0922a21d62164 (Source)

Lesbian “gay bashing”

Lesbian "gay bashing"

Guest post by Kate Hansen, with thanks to the women who so generously shared their experiences.

 

For feedback or to share your experiences, please email Liz@listening2lesbians.com or message us at https://www.facebook.com/LlSTEN2LESBlANS/


I was in a Facebook lesbian group, when someone posted the question: “Have you ever been gay bashed?” The stories which followed gripped me and moved me.  I decided to pose the same question on other group pages, and I made sure to ask everyone if they would allow their stories to be shared anonymously online.  I felt like these were something which needed to be shared with a wider audience. I don’t know if people even know the level of violence and hate that lesbians face, even in the modern world.  It can be straight up physical violence, or it can be just a series of microaggressions which erode the soul over time. There was no clear distinction between regions represented, dykes in the UK face the same level of violence in the USA.  I do appreciate the uniqueness of the voices. Another thing to note is that the flat out physical violence seemed to happen to those who were gender non conforming or butch, while more feminine presenting women deal with classic sexual harassment.

This story is dynamic and changing.  I believe this is the tip of the iceberg, and we would like to ask for contributions to this project.  If you have experienced gay bashing as a lesbian, please write to us and share, care of Listening 2 Lesbians.

-Kate Hansen


Run over by a car, kidnapped and held for five days. 21 stab wounds, no food and very little water, raped repeatedly and left for dead on the side of the road. I lost contracts in business. Umm ya this is a very sensitive subject. The younger people in our community sometimes forget the sacrifices we’ve made so that they can enjoy the freedoms we have today. Not preaching, just pointing out how violent it once was.


Yes indeed in downtown Baltimore many moons ago but was told I was a waste of a woman. Hate has no room in my life.


As a butch lesbian, born and raised in Alabama and travel for a living, I’ve never been bashed, i have been called out in bathrooms more times than I can count, but once they realized who they’re speaking to they apologized. I also open carry.


Yup. Lost all “friends” in my neighbourhood, went thru 4 yrs of bitches calling me out nearly every day in high school even tho I never came out about it.  Recently blocked a cousin for sending me bible quotes and messages about being an abomination.️ I’m still on top. Honestly Millennials and Zs don’t know how easy they have it.


Got stones thrown at me I came out to a friend and she yelled out ew your gay and a guy heard and he started to throwing them or some Christians quoting bible and parents blaming my auntie about her being gay for me turning out gay.


I’ve had issues with former coworkers on my life choices. Once I was told I was the devil and I was going to hell. She wouldn’t work with me because she didn’t want to catch the gay.


Just the usual from family and sometimes complete strangers. Had one kid start yelling Faggots from his truck to an ex and I when we were driving together. Hit a stop light and he kept smirking until we started talking trash back very loudly. Made him look like an ass. He rolled up his window pretty quickly and turned down a side street. My ex was in the military and I’m built like Xena, so I think we scared him.


Had friends bashed leaving the bar. One friend almost got killed because they hit him with a baseball bat. Put him in a coma for two weeks. He left Tucson after he recovered.. Most of the drag queens carry mace or razors when they leave.


Yeah, 1970s lost jobs and evicted, raped, and TONS of verbal bashing in public places and I was like having the attitude and VOICE to say “FUCK OFF just because my women are hotter than what you get” OR I would say “Your mom didn’t think so last night.” WHEN IN PUBLIC they can’t hit you because the first blow is a violent attack and if I wait I can kick ’em in the nuts in self defense. Always wait to clip the nuts in self defense, then no charges can be pressed really.


Yeah. From the college I attended, as well as several revoked job opportunities when they found out I was gay. Oh and my dad trying to kill me, as well as being kicked out.


When there’s a violent male, the energy is usually directed at my butch partner. We’ve never been bashed, but we’ve gotten out of minor scrapes. For example, my butch ex and I were at a blues bar, and this man became irate with me because I didn’t want to dance with him. She said “buddy, she doesn’t want to dance, leave her alone”. He got annoyed, ok angry, that I chose to be with a butch female instead of him. We left after that. Someone mentioned that we should have got him kicked out, but honestly we just weren’t feeling it after that.

Also my ex husband was violent with me when he figured out that I’m gay.


My girlfriend and I had big rocks thrown at us from a passing pickup truck when we were holding hands walking down the street. She got chased by a man who saw us kissing goodbye at a greyhound station, and he was yelling at her that he would make her like dick while he was chasing her. We were also chased together once, after going to the park around midnight and not realizing there were other people there. This was all around 1992. I haven’t been bashed recently, but I’m more careful now.

I should add that 2 of these events happened in San Francisco.


Beat up by 3 men, 14 broken bones and won’t even say what they did to my girlfriend at the time. Something we couldn’t get over because of my guilt not being able to stop it.


I’m an intimidating bitch, I have issues with guys, I don’t take shit from nobody.

However it’s sad in a way that my family uses it against me when we fight or make stupid comments about gays

Fuck em anyways.

Can’t tell me they aren’t a bit curious!


I navigated the Army during the mid eighties – early nineties; before even “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” I was raped by 4 “fellow” soldiers; they knew they could get away with it; one accusation of homosexuality and my career was over.  We all stayed quiet about it; they didn’t go to prison; I didn’t get a dishonourable discharge……just a vicious case of PTSD.


I have when I lived in a homophobic city/country my dad and a few neighbours my mom shut him up and I confronted the bs with the neighbour’s kid and to say the mom was not happy with him is a understatement . After my mom passed I got thrown out and bounced sofa to sofa ’til I got my own place then was sexually assaulted by a downstairs neighbour and now I got real bad anxiety and ptsd but my ex gf doesn’t understand I don’t want to be around men too much, esp. straight guys like her brother, but you know fuck it I’m about to be out of here real.


Yup,  beat up by three dudes for being a ‘fucking dyke’ one thing I did learn is I can fly through the air like Superman  just need to work on my landing though!


Yes my son’s father told people, I mean like most of our little city that he don’t want that fruity shit around my son that my son is gonna be gay because of me, I’m making him gay! This is my first time ever being attacked like this … And for a dude that hasn’t been around in 5 yrs (my son is 5) but my girl has been around since my son’s first birthday … What the fuck is he, right?   But my god did this really hurt me horribly. I also think that my son’s father is in the closet and maybe mad that we are out and having a good life while he is still hiding. But that’s not my fault I’m a woman no matter what, I’m gonna be a woman whether I’m with a man or a woman, I do women shit everything I do know I’ve done my whole life. Not just since I’ve been with my girl .. I was sooooo offended and felt embarrassed that he went to everyone we know and said shit like this.  Hurts.


1 Circa 1987/88 was a student in Bradford. 21 years old living with a girlfriend, also student but we worked the same bar. She was a barmaid, me DJ. One night walking home from a night out socializing, playing pool, we came home early. 9pm. About 1 minute from our flat, crossing the pub car park neighbouring us, two men stepped out and confronted us. One grabbed g/f basically sexually assaulting her, I naturally objected and he threw a punch at me. Then, I was as strong and as fit as a butcher’s dog. (I can also box, dad taught me) I’m fortunate, know how to look after self and am risk savvy, but this happened so quick. Both men attacked me as I prevented them tearing my g/f’s clothes.One punched her to the side of the head, knocking her out. They both set about me, but realized that I was a going to be a hand full. Eventually, they ran off when they realized about 30 or so punters from the straight pub were onlookers. I got to my feet, picked my g/f up and managed to stagger back to the flat, where our housemates got us attention at hospital. Not one person intervened, watching. When the police questioned us at the hospital, they told us not one witness could be found at the pub! Indeed, they questioned us as to why we were out at that time of night!?! 9pm? My g/f needed stitches to a wound in her ear and I was concussed but the police were determined to dismiss me as drunk. I had been playing pool for the lesbian pub team…not a drop!

One other occasion, same city and about the same time, g/f and I had gone to dinner; celebrating something. We were walking to the lesbian/gay bar in town for ‘after’ when a group of young men, about 15 or so, started catcalling insults. Dykes, queers, etc. What we really needed, you know the score. They ran up to us and I told her to go ahead into the bar and not turn round and if not there in 5 get help! For once, she, reluctantly did as she was told, as she knew what was going to happen, and she had never left me in a situation like that. I turned to face the group but no reasoning was to be had they simply piled on me and began punching, kicking etc. So, I did what I was taught in those situations, God Bless my working class, dog tough old dad, he was a bastard but as hard as nails! I latched onto the biggest by sinking my teeth into his crotch. Face protected, head tucked right into his groin so they could kick me, but he was getting it too. It seemed like forever, but the police came, called by Sarah et al. The mob ran off. Leaving me and the big lad locked on the pavement! I was dazed to say the least and he was yelping like a scalded puppy! Police were going to arrest me for assault, as seemingly, as one police officer said, I could have seriously injured the poor lad biting him there! No witnesses, no admissions from the lesbophobic shit who had started the beating, just me looking bruised and battered. I didn’t cut easily, so must not have been as bad in their opinion. Wouldn’t listen to us…I was a student teacher, my g/f a student social worker, he was a knuckle dragging arsehole, but male so must tell the truth. This was West Yorkshire, 30 years ago, at the height of Clause 28, where attitudes were shocking. However, this is the same constabulary, hounding women for saying there is no such thing as men becoming women! In my early 50s we are experiencing a blatant openness in aggression towards us. This Brexit debacle is emboldening the ignorant, vicious bigots who have lain dormant for so many years.

So many other occasions. Verbal to physical. I’m fortunate, I know how I react in these situations and as old as I get know that my mentality won’t change. My lesbianism is sacrosanct, my love and obligation to protect my partner has meant she has been spared this, as I would lay my life down to protect her, and she knows that. Lesbians need to ally with each other; women. Not men, not interested in what they think they know about us, we must take lessons from what has happened, carrying it into the present so that this blatant aggression surfacing against us doesn’t take us by surprise. It has always been thus!


The really bad one was in 2009 in Thousand Oaks, CA. I had been working on my car all evening replacing the starter, oil change etc., finally finishing around 11 pm. So I took the car out for a drive to see how it was running. I was sitting at a stop light waiting when all of the sudden I was rear ended. The light turns green so I pull through the intersection and then pull over to the side. I get out of the car and start walking to the back to car check the damage and swap information if needed. I never saw him coming because I was looking at my bumper he sucker punched me in the jaw. Next thing I remember I’m waking up on the road in a pool of my own vomit with my rainbow sticker on the ground next to me.

I ended having a broken jaw and a few facial fractures. However that was the last time anyone landed a hand on me, like that.

He did get caught a few months later because he did it again but this time was a gay man that had a camera in his car that caught the license plate of the guy. He was never charged with my incident because no evidence.


I was head butted by a skinhead, I’d left the Pride march, with a few others, to use the loo & when I came out there was a bunch of skinheads waiting outside the mens toilets & a couple outside the women’s. One of them called me a queer & tried to head butt me in the face, but he was way too tall and caught me on the forehead/top of the head, I was shocked more than hurt & I just took of running as fast as I could (I’d have given FloJo a run for her money) I wanted to shout a warning to anyone else in the toilets, but my voice wouldn’t work. It took me ages to get back to the Pride march – I’d run off in the wrong direction & the 1985 London Pride was nowhere near the size it is now – not so many qweer hetz. When I found the women I’d gone to the loos with, they’d come out in a group so they weren’t attacked, just verbal abuse & they’d forgotten me. I’ve had abuse shouted at me in the street, threatened & spat at, but that’s the worst physical violence I’ve suffered for being a lesbian. I have friends who were beaten up coming out of gay clubs & pubs.


Rocks thrown through windows, rainbow flag burned, all windows in both vehicles in driveway shattered and anti-gay language scrawled all over both cars with a sharpie

Motorcycle knocked to the ground

Contents of truck stolen and thrown into the streets of the neighbourhood

Happened around 1AM


When I came out in middle school a boy in my band class would hit me in the head on a daily basis with his drumstick and call me a nasty dyke. Another boy on my school bus would sit next to me and describe how it would feel to suck his dick the whole ride home. I was too scared to report him.


Yes, I’ve been bashed physically by some men; by the police and then the regular verbal butch bashings as well. I think the first time was coming out of a gay bar in my 20s. We were confronted by a group of young men who yelled and threw rocks at us and cornered us. I remember, thinking, why? Why is who I love a concern of yours? It’s inane. As a butch, the verbal lashings have been a constant fare in my life.


Coming out of the Blue Goose, a gay bar in Des Moines, in 1976-77 ish, carloads of straight high school boys would drive by repeatedly shouting slurs. One carload followed me as I walked to my car one night. Thankfully they didn’t do anything except yell. Long ago, far away.


I had  a neighbourhood kid set fire in my house in 1980. She had found out I am a lesbian. 


Several times over my lifetime, but the one time it was pretty bad was after my two friends and I had attended a show in Seattle (I think it might have been Concrete Blonde) and we were walking back to the car and walked past a group of young teens, about 5-6 young men and one woman.  The young woman said “which one of you’s the man???!!! fuckin’ dykes” and my friend who was a smartass (and stupidly risky) said “I am, and aren’t I cute??” and that woman did not like being sassed, so she ran after my friend and started beating her up and my other friend and I tried intervening, but every time we tried to protect our friend, the young men would kick us from behind and knock us down.  We felt trapped and fighting for our lives when we ran up to a bus that was parked at a bus stop and begged the driver to help us. The driver didn’t give a shit and refused to call the cops or help. But luckily, since there were people on the bus and multiple witnesses, the attackers took off. We got back to car and went to the hospital… the one friend had two broken ribs and my other one had a broken wrist, and my back was all bruised from being kicked in the back.  I was truly afraid they would kill us.


I was physically knocked down by a very large man when I was in New York visiting my family. This was maybe 12 yrs ago. My sister and I were walking home from the train and it was in the early evening. A really large wild haired dude came up to us and said Hello ladies. We said nothing back to him and he became irate very quickly. Then he looked at me and said Oh this one’s not a lady! I looked at him and said Fuck you! My sister and I started walking quickly ahead of him but he came up behind us screaming and yelling his head off and then he knocked me down. I fell on the ground, got back up but my hand was injured as I had fallen on it. My sister and I ran really fast and we were able to get away from him. We went to the police later and reported it and they drove around trying to find him. It was a fairly small town, my home town in NY. But they could not find him. In retrospect I think we were in a lot more danger than we realized at the moment. He was like a powder keg of  rage just looking for someone to go off on. Luckily we got away from him but my hand was injured for quite a while after that because my fingers had gotten pushed backward. It’s still scary when I think about it now, his rage.

Now as I write this I’m thinking that that was probably the first and only time in my life that I felt insulted not to be considered a “lady.”


Having people yell “fag” and “dyke” out of cars while walking with my girlfriends.

Having cars full of college age boys honk at us, pull over in front of us as we were walking on the side of the road late at night, open their doors and start to get out to scare us before driving off (or maybe someone in the car talked them out of it.)

Being told “What you should be holding is a dick” by a young male stranger while holding hands on the street.

Being harassed by my girlfriend’s farm boss about my “sexy” clothes one day, and hearing him say he loved saying that stuff to lesbians in particular. When I told others in the farming community about it, they fired me from my volunteer job, said they didn’t believe me and shunned me.

There are others I’d rather not recall or I’ve selectively forgotten.

I’ve lost more than 3 jobs over issues related to being a lesbian, also. People in general become more suspicious of me if I come out to them, even if they act accepting at first, and will sew all kinds of weird rumors about me & bash my reputation behind my back, the moment it would be convenient to silence me. Which really poisons communities against you and makes it difficult to hold your head up and move freely.

I’ve had men act like they were going to hit me, mostly for telling them to leave my gf alone when they were too persistent in bars and she didn’t have the nerve to, but when they turn around and actually look at me, they suddenly don’t want to hit anymore! I’m very small and usually pretty girl-looking, I think they realize it would be absurd.

It’s a constant series of daily microaggressions for me that have affected my life & forced me to have many career paths, put crushing stress on my relationships & given me diagnosed C-PTSD. If I could trade all that for getting hit once or twice, I would!


When I was about 28 I was leaving a gay bar in Buffalo NY, as I was unlocking my car a guy grabbed me around my neck from behind…he called me homophobic slurs and told me he was going to show me a real man…it was summer and very warm, all I had on was a tank top and shorts, he ripped them off of me, punched and slapped me  several times and raped me vaginally and annally…I did not scream, it was in the back of a very dark parking lot…all I did was cry…he threatened to kill me as he left….i was able to crawl back to the bar, bloodied and naked…the few women in the bar took me in, they locked the door, cleaned me up and found me some clothes…we did not call the police out of fear, they called my lover who came and picked me up.

I did not know who he was, nor had I ever seen him before…a few weeks later at work I started getting notes and threats left on my desk at work…this went on for weeks and I was terrified…this was in 1978 and there was nowhere to go to complain, if the company had known I was gay I would have lost my job, so I suffered for many months and eventually quit my job.  The man that raped me was someone I worked with, but I was never able to figure out who he was (big company)…I never went out again alone, received no mental health help, just suffered…My lover, a very large male identified butch, protected and shielded me as did our friends from the bar….but the rape and harassment I keep locked up inside of me for more than 20 years, finally I received therapy and am able to reconcile internally what happened, but it never goes away, it is always there lurking in the back of my mind…


I expected and was heavily defended against the gay bashing and was bashed several times. But what hurt me the most was the butch bashing from within the lesbian community. There was a woman who professed to be a Wiccan witch, who never, ever miss the opportunity to remind myself and others about how male identified I was.  How unacceptable that was, to be a lesbian within a lesbian community and male identify. At the time I was a total separatist. I had no man in my life. I had no interest in them. But the fact that I dressed and conducted myself without femininity, did not rely on any kind of feminine tricks, meant I was male identified. The most devastating Butch bashing, for me, came from my feminist sisters. Ultimately I decided that the wiccans weren’t any nicer than the Christians and let them all go.


I have been shot at, had a person try to kill me by stabbing me with an ice pick, had brake lines cut, lug nuts loosened, been threatened lots back in the day.  Got bashed by women also–“Baby Killer” because I wanted to keep my military job. Lost custody of my daughter because the judge thought she should experience a “real traditional family.”  Didn’t see her for 3 years. There’s more, but I won’t bore you.


1. Yelled at “dyke!” In a shopping mall …

2. Nearly run over by a guy in a car…

3. Threatened with rape by a couple of straight teenage boys who grabbed my breasts and shirt.

4. Three drunk Gay men threatened to rape me. “Hey cunt, you just need a man! stop being such an angry bulldyke. We know a man who will make you like men! Hah hah!

5. Transwoman raped me. ” this will teach you!! You are a bad girl and you made me mad! And don’t you dare say no nasty butch dyke!”

6. Transwoman raped me. “You owe me. I took you to a party, you stupid Lez, you f-ing dyke!!”!

7. Construction workers yelling dyke! Etc.

I have a hella PTSD. And I find most LGBT people are actually not aware of or sensitive to the fact that gay men and transwomen can be misogynistic and lesbophobic and / or rapists or sexual harassment or assault perpetrators.


I’ve been followed when I left a gay bar.  Had to outrun them, first on foot, then in my car.  I finally made it to a police station. I didn’t think that the cops would help me, but I hoped that the men chasing me thought otherwise.  They did give up the chase and I never had to directly interact with those cops. Another time a girlfriend and I had very sinister men calling us slurs for lesbian and woman while coming at us.  We ended up dodging cars (on foot) across a highway to get away from them.


While working@ amazon warehouse on lane letter D someone was trying to close/open pallets and looking for small boxes of like d005 and large boxes for d026 or something and I’m doing a 2 person conveyor job with my back turned and the young republican who during election time routinely yelled “hail trump” and “trump is god” and loved WWE yelled “oh here’s a big D for you, need another one? There’s a D right here!”

I believe that was simple harassment but I reported it instantly and when leaving work he and a friend attempted to run me off the road!

Also had a “queer” female with a “he/him” nametag give me this line following my refusal to declare my pronouns to “him” she went on to say how she never would have guessed I’m a lesbian and went on to talk about how she “used to be a lesbian” and that felt grimey AF to me.


Was out @ 14 so got gum in my hair a lot, probably why I refuse to shave my head ever to prove any point ever because I meticulously cut those candies out of my hair about 4x/mo


I was out with women friends for my 21st birthday. We were all dancing. This guy kept offering to buy me drinks and wanting my number. I repeatedly and politely told him thanks but I wasn’t interested. He kept trying so I finally told him I’m gay. He then became verbally abusive saying  I thought I was too good for him and hoped I got raped. Thankfully his friends pulled him away and they left. I was shaken and thankful my friends were there.


 

‘It is possible to be Muslim and a lesbian’

miriam

Miriam hid her sexuality from her strict Muslim parents for years. When she eventually did come out to them, she found it impossible to translate “lesbian” into Punjabi or Urdu. She explains how the conversation put an end to her double life “playing the straight woman” but caused a rift so deep that her father disowned her.

Continue reading at: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-bristol-46567505 (Source)

US: Musician The Weeknd accused of lesbophobic lyrics

weeknd lesbophobia

The Weeknd has found himself in some controversy after the release of his collaboration with producer Gesaffelstein, ‘Lost In The Fire’, with some citing that some of his lyrics are homophobic.

The lyrics in question centre around a pretty explicit couple of lines in the second verse, where The Weeknd sings “you’re going through a phase” and “i can f*ck you straight.”

Continue reading at: https://musicfeeds.com.au/news/the-weeknd-accused-of-homophobic-lyrics-in-new-song/ (Source)

Thoughts on the words “queer” and “lesbian” from a twenty-two year old who only connects to one of them

Thoughts Essay Photo - Erin

Guest Post by Erin

It started in 6th grade with an offhand comment to a classmate I thought was my friend. We were in our one shared class, gym, talking about – as girls of this age often did – boys. I never understood why so many hours could be spent talking about them. Sure, some were cool, and they were my friends, but why are we always talking about them? Aren’t there cooler things going on?

Confessing this confusion was my first mistake. An offhand comment led to a rumor that persisted in at least some form for seven years and led to nearly a decade of strong and unrelenting self-hatred. “Who do you like?” she asked, as we did jumping jacks in gym. Unable to pick a random boy fast enough, I answered simply “I don’t like boys yet.” Spoiler alert: even though I pretended to because girls are supposed to like boys, I never did start liking them.

This wasn’t so strange, right? I was only eleven. Didn’t I have better things to worry about then whether or not the cute boy that sat next to me in math looked at me? Was it so strange I was more interested in staring at numbers than boys?

Yes. It was. Soon after this small conversation in the middle of warm-ups in our tiny gym, I first heard it. “Lesbian,” they called me. I didn’t understand why. Of course I knew what a lesbian was. My parents were pretty progressive and didn’t shelter me from things like this. A lesbian is a girl who only likes other girls. But that wasn’t me. I just didn’t like boys yet. That didn’t mean I liked girls. This logic didn’t stop them. They continued, among other taunts, to call me a “lesbian,” the most common taunt.

I started liking boys. I pretended to, at least. I was so good at pretending that I fooled myself. It didn’t matter that I barely knew these boys. Every other girl liked him. I did too. It didn’t matter the thought of actually talking or getting close to him created an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. That was just the butterflies, right? Easier to pretend with were the few boys I was friends with. I was mostly comfortable around them, and I liked talking to them. That’s all a relationship was supposed to be right? We were friends. I could like him and not have to do anything about it for fear of “ruining the friendship.” Just because I never did anything about these crushes didn’t mean I didn’t actually like boys. I was just shy.

The taunts continued. I still didn’t understand. I had relented; I was behaving like a normal girl should. I could point to a growing list of crushes as evidence. This was when I began to understand. I was using the wrong definition of the word “lesbian.” Their definition, the definition they were trying to communicate when they threw the word at me with a sneer and hate in their eyes, was much darker. To them, a lesbian is a girl who only likes girls. But that’s not all they meant. A lesbian is also gross. She’s dirty. She’s wrong and predatory. A lesbian is someone unworthy of love or kindness. The only part of this they didn’t know or care to communicate was the “girl who only likes girls” part.

I understood now. I was gross. I was dirty. I was wrong and predatory. I was unworthy of love and kindness. When this definition became known to me, it’s the one that started to bury itself into my brain every time I heard the insult. Every time I saw one of the ones that called me it. I started to withdraw. I talked less. I stopped hanging out with friends so much. I began to see myself as they did. At age eleven, I began to believe I was gross, dirty, wrong, and predatory. I didn’t deserve love and kindness.

When you are eleven, and your brain is still developing, it develops with the environment you are in. Despite a loving family, I was losing friends and surrounded by hate for most of my day. So I started to internalize it. I isolated myself from the love I believed I didn’t deserve. I hated myself, most of the kids at school hated me, even my friends started forgetting about me the more I ignored their texts and invitations.

All of this started because I was known as the lesbian of the school. I was terrified of this word. It was scary and ugly every time I saw it. It reminded me of all the torment I faced at school, and later online. There are never positive stories about lesbians. They’re beaten up or murdered in the news. They are a porn category for men online. They are mocked in public. They are predatory monsters in movies and television Every time I saw the word lesbian, I believed more and more than lesbian meant someone dirty, predatory, and unworthy.

Fast forward seven years and I’m in college. I don’t know anyone here. No one here knows me. I don’t have to be what I’ve been told I am all these years. Then something terrifying happens. A couple friends I reconnected with take me to a meeting of the campus LGBT club. Suddenly I’m surrounded by people who are what I’ve been called all my life, and they don’t fit the definition of “lesbian” I had had forced upon me. They are women who like other women. They aren’t gross or predatory or unworthy. Scarier still, I realize I may be like them.

Years of telling myself I was all parts of the definition of “lesbian” except the only true definition caught up with me. I avoid this word at all costs. I am pansexual. No, I am asexual. No, I am bisexual. No, I am bisexual with a preference for women. No, I am bisexual with a strong preference for women. No, I am bisexual with a very strong preference for women. No, I…suddenly realize I am what I’ve been avoiding.

I am a lesbian. So, what does this word mean now? Does it still mean dirty, predatory, and unworthy? I don’t know. I don’t think it does, not anymore. At least not fully. I am nineteen now, and the fears I held at age eleven aren’t so scary anymore. I begin to reach out. I follow lesbians online. I look for positive representation in media. I start to identify with the word bit by bit.

But then, I’m back in school after winter break ends and there are people all around and now the fears I held at age eleven seem more real. I start throwing up every day and making jokes about my sexuality. If I make jokes about it then it’s not so scary and I can maybe eventually confront it, right? But the jokes don’t stop and neither does the throwing up. I wasn’t okay. But I was trying to be.

I begin to have more lesbians in my life. I follow more lesbians on Tumblr and other social media. I join some lesbian-centric Facebook groups. I find a musical celebrating what it is to be a butch lesbian. I watch rom-coms where lesbians get to end up happy. I listen to lesbian singers. I meet and work with lesbians at my summer job, and see them being happy and secure.

Lesbian begins to take on a whole new meaning for me. These women I know, through work or the Internet, through stories on stage or screen, aren’t what I’ve been told and internalized a lesbian is my whole life. They are not gross or predatory or unworthy. These women are strong. They are powerful. They are full of love and light and confidence in who they are. They have people who love them.

And I am like them. I am strong and powerful and full of love and light. I am worthy. “Lesbian” is no longer a scary concept for me. I am a lesbian, and no one will take that away from me ever again. Being a lesbian is a beautiful thing to be. I am proud.

But as I began to assert my new proud identity, words like “gay” and “lesbian” and “bisexual” started to disappear. The new word that took their place was the word “queer.” Originally meaning words like strange, odd, ruin, and spoil, the word became used as a slur against the LGBT community. Slurs typically have a way of becoming reclaimed. They are taken from the negative group and turned into a war cry.

Suddenly, so many things are becoming queer. More and more people are dropping more “standard” LGBT identities and choosing to identify as queer. There aren’t lists of lesbian, or bi, or trans, or gay, or LGBT musicians – there are lists of queer musicians. The formerly “gay & lesbian” section has become the “queer” section. The LGBT groups are disappearing, and queer groups are taking their place. In retrospect, this isn’t such a bad idea. Reclaiming slurs can be a powerful concept, and reclaiming them on such a large scale can show more power. But forcing people to identify with the term, even accidentally, isn’t powerful – it takes away their personal choice.

I never identified as queer. To those that do, you have my full support and your identity should be celebrated. But your identity isn’t my identity. I spent eight years hating myself for even being assumed a lesbian. I spent another year terrified when I discovered I actually was. To me, lesbian is a powerful word. Lesbian is a word that can be twisted into something so ugly if you let it. And I let it. But then, I twisted it into something beautiful, and I became something beautiful.

I spent seven years being called a lesbian in the worst way by people who did not know me. I let them take the best way, the true way, away from me to. The day I decided that I am a proud, bold, unapologetic, unafraid lesbian was the day that I forgave my childhood self for being so miserable and self-hating. It was the day I found myself. It was the day I fell in love with myself. It was the scariest and most freeing day of my life. No one will ever take this beautiful, bold, proud word away from me again

Queer is like this for so many people. Queer is their identity. It is their support system. It is their connector with other people who are like them in a world that is not kind to people like them. An identity like this is so important for a person’s wellbeing. We need to connect with people like us, because it is hard to survive in a world that doesn’t want people like us.

Expecting everyone to identify with this word is when it becomes dangerous. Calling everyone who falls under the “not cis and/or straight” umbrella queer erases all these other beautiful, powerful identities. So much negativity is placed on words like bisexual, transgender, pansexual, gay, and lesbian. Proudly identifying with these terms is powerful. It is taking our power back from those who tried to take it from us. Queer is also a word that was made negative, and is now being used in a positive way.

Continue to take back the words they took from us. But let everyone do it in their own way.

I am twenty-two now, and the fears I had at eleven and later at nineteen no longer hold power over me. I still hold them, and I still remember them. On my worst days, they try to creep back into my mind. On these days, I remember the miserable girl I was at eleven. She survived and blossomed. On these days, I remember the terrified woman I was at nineteen. She survived despite her fear and fell in love with herself. On these days, I know the woman I am at twenty-two. She will survive, and become the person the miserable eleven year old needed, and the terrified nineteen year old found.