Tag Archives: Lesbian Mothers

Spain: Judge remains barred over malicious prevarication against lesbian couple

Lesbians in spain

The Contentious-Administrative Chamber of the Supreme Court has confirmed the decision taken at the time by the General Council of the Judiciary (CGPJ) to deny the reinstatement to active duty in the judicial career of Fernando Ferrín Calamita, the judge of Murcia who was sentenced in 2009 to ten years of special disqualification for the “malicious” delay in the procedures for adopting a minor by the wife of the biological mother of the child.

The resolution, of which the magistrate José Manuel Sieira has been a speaker, recalls that the crime of prevarication is one of the most serious that a member of the judicial career can commit  in that it breaches (both) the essence of the Judiciary and the baseline behaviour expected of those who represent it.

Moreover, it distinguishes between the crime of malicious prevarication provided for in article 446 of the Criminal Code, for which Ferrín Calamita was convicted, and that of guilty prevarication of article 447. Thus, he emphasizes that, in this case, “we are facing a crime of greater gravity”, which does the damage to the public service is undoubtedly greater.

The events date back to 2006 when a lesbian couple began the adoption process with the aim of one being recognized as the adoptive mother of the girl that her romantic partner had conceived through artificial insemination.
(Translated)

La Sala de lo Contencioso-Administrativo del Tribunal Supremo ha confirmado la decisión adoptada en su día por el Consejo General del Poder Judicial (CGPJ) de denegar la rehabilitación y el reingreso al servicio activo en la carrera judicial de Fernando Ferrín Calamita, el juez de Murcia que fue condenado en 2009 a diez años de inhabilitación especial por el retraso “malicioso” de los trámites de adopción de una menor por parte de la esposa de la madre biológica de la pequeña.

La resolución, de la que ha sido ponente el magistrado José Manuel Sieira, recuerda que el delito de prevaricación es uno de los más graves que puede cometer un miembro de la carrera judicial en cuanto quiebra la esencia del Poder Judicial y la conducta mínimamente exigible a quien lo encarna.

Es más, distingue entre el delito de prevaricación dolosa previsto en al artículo 446 del Código Penal, por el que fue condenado precisamente Ferrín Calamita, y el de prevaricación culposa del artículo 447. Así, subraya que, en este caso, “estamos ante un delito de mayor gravedad”, lo que hace el perjuicio para el servicio público sea indudablemente mayor.

Los hechos se remontan al año 2006 cuando una pareja de lesbianas inició el proceso de adopción con el objetivo de que una de ellas fuera reconocida como la madre adoptiva de la niña que su pareja sentimental había concebido por inseminación artificial.(Original)

Continue reading at: https://elcierredigital.com/sucesos/797032792/deniegan-volver-juez-calamitas.html (Source)

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Germany: Lesbophobia persists even in hip Berlin

Lesbians in Germany

Lesbians have two vulnerable characteristics: they are women and they are homosexual. They are therefore disregarded by people for two reasons. This double vulnerability is there, no matter where in Europe, in the world she moves with and belongs to the family.

The police arrive within minutes, the boys are highly motivated to grab the guy. They ask Anna in the patrol car and comb through the streets of Moabit. Unfortunately, in vain.

Afterwards, we ask ourselves: why did not the other people at the bus stop help? There are three buses and the Ringbahn at this station, there were at least 15 people. No one asked if we were okay, nobody took pictures, nobody called the police. Nothing.

The BVG wants to make the video recordings of our bus available, but then accidentally pulls out the wrong pictures. The relevant recordings will be deleted according to the privacy policy. The preliminary investigation against the unknown man is finally stopped.

The offence is assault. Nowhere is it mentioned that we are lesbian, although we have said it, although it is clear that we are the child’s parents. Nevertheless, it is not recorded that it was a homophobic offence.
(Translated)

Lesben haben zwei verwundbare Eigenschaften: Sie sind Frauen und sie sind homosexuell. Sie werden also aus zwei Gründen von Menschen missachtet. Diese doppelte Verwundbarkeit ist da, egal wo in Europa, auf der Welt, sie zieht mit und gehört quasi zur Familie.

Die Polizei ist binnen Minuten vor Ort, die Jungs sind hochmotiviert, den Typen zu schnappen. Sie bitten Anna in den Streifenwagen und durchkämmen die Straßen von Moabit. Leider vergeblich.

Hinterher fragen wir uns: Warum haben die anderen Leute an der Bushaltestelle nicht geholfen? Es fahren drei Busse und die Ringbahn an dieser Station, da waren mindestens 15 Leute. Keiner hat sich erkundigt, ob es uns gut geht, keiner hat Fotos gemacht, keiner hat die Polizei gerufen. Nichts.

Die BVG will die Videoaufnahmen von unserem Bus zur Verfügung stellen, zieht dann aber aus Versehen die falschen Bilder raus. Die relevanten Aufnahmen werden gemäß Datenschutz gelöscht. Das Ermittlungsverfahren gegen unbekannt wird schließlich eingestellt.

Die Straftat lautet Körperverletzung. Dass wir lesbisch sind, wird nirgends erwähnt, obwohl wir es gesagt haben, obwohl klar ist, dass wir die Eltern des Kindes sind. Trotzdem wird nicht aufgenommen, dass es eine homophobe Straftat war.
(Original)

Continue reading at: https://taz.de/Lesbenfeindlicher-Uebergriff/!5607418/ (Source)

Spain: I will kill you bolleras – Lesbian family attacked

Lesbians in spain

“I will kill you, bolleras” [d*kes]
Two lesbian mothers were quietly with one of their three children, 4 years old, on a terrace in Barcelona, ​​just two days after having held a Pride dedicated to homoparental families, when a drunk man came and attacked them in front of the child.
The Guàrdia Urbana intercepted the man, JMLL.M. (his initials), who now faces charges of threats, light mistreatment and a criminal offence against fundamental rights or hatred. The man approached and touched the child (we do not know why) and, obviously, one of the mothers told him what he did to which the man answered with insults.
(Translated)

“Os mataré, bolleras”
Dos madres lesbianas estaban tranquilamente con uno de sus tres hijos, de 4 años, en una terraza de Barcelona, tan solo dos días después de haber celebrado un Pride dedicado a las familias homoparentales, cuando llegó un hombre borracho y las atacó delante del pequeño.
J.M.LL.M. son las siglas del hombre que la Guardia Urbana interceptó y que ahora se enfrenta a presuntos delitos de amenazas, maltrato leve y un tipo penal contra los derechos fundamentales u odio. El hombre se acercó y tocó al niño (no sabemos por qué) y, obviamente, una de las madres le dijo que qué hacía a lo que el tipo contestó con insultos.
(Original)

Continue reading at: http://www.mirales.es/os-matare-bolleras-agresion-a-dos-lesbianas-en-barcelona-dos-dias-despues-del-pride/ (Source)

U.S: Lesbian Parents Of Toddler With Cancer Receive Lesbophobic Message

Tiffany and Albree Shaffer with their children (via Facebook)

The parents of a one-year-old girl diagnosed with advanced cancer were shocked to receive a hateful message on social media from a stranger.

“My prayers for Callie. I was going to donate $7600.00 to her fund, but I found out her parents are lesbian. I’ve chosen to donate to St. Jude due to that fact. Sorry. I’ll still pray for her though, but maybe it’s God’s way of getting your attention that she needs a mommy and a daddy, not two mommies.”

Continue reading: https://instinctmagazine.com/
post/parents-of-toddler-with-cancer-receive-hateful-message/
(source)

Callie’s GoFundMe Page:  https://au.gofundme.com/
TinyButMighty17

Serbian lesbian mothers – the closet and legal rights

Serbian Premier Ana Brnabic

Serbian society is unfamiliar with gay couples who have children. It is therefore rare. Apart from the legal obstacles, it is also practically impossible. Lesbian couples who do not want to or are unable to find a donor in their own circle must go abroad because there are no sperm banks in Serbia. For gay men it is completely impossible, because only married couples can adopt and same-sex marriage is not recognized. That does not mean that there are no gays and lesbians with children, but it is almost always hidden from the outside world. They lead a life like that of Natasa.
(Translated)

De Servische samenleving is onbekend met homostellen die kinderen hebben. Het komt dan ook weinig voor. Los van de wettelijke obstakels, is het ook praktisch bijna onmogelijk. Lesbische stellen die niet in eigen kring een donor willen of kunnen vinden, moeten ervoor naar het buitenland omdat in Servië geen spermabanken zijn. Voor homomannen is het helemaal onmogelijk, omdat alleen getrouwde stellen mogen adopteren en het homohuwelijk niet wordt erkend. Dat betekent niet dat er geen homo’s en lesbiennes met kinderen zijn. Maar het wordt vrijwel altijd verborgen gehouden voor de buitenwereld. Ze leiden een leven als dat van Natasa.
(Original)

Continue reading at: https://nos.nl/artikel/2274048-servische-lesbienne-ik-ging-terug-in-de-kast-voor-een-kind.html (Source)

Pasaia, Spain: Lesbian fired for wanting to be a mother

Spain

The LAB union has denounced on Thursday the discriminatory situation that, in their opinion, a lesbian woman in Pasaia suffered from. According to a statement in a media release, a local bar has fired a woman “for wanting to be a mother.” The union explains that “since the company knew two of its workers were a couple, the relationship has been going wrong.” Thus, according to the union, “a few weeks ago, knowing that one of them was undergoing a fertility treatment, they have fired the other worker.”
(Translated)

El sindicato LAB ha denunciado este jueves la situación discriminatoria que, a su entender, está padeciendo una mujer lesbiana en Pasaia. Según señalan en un comunicado, un bar de la localidad ha despedido a una mujer «por querer ser madre». El sindicato explica que «desde que la empresa supo dos de sus trabajadoras eran pareja, la relación ha ido torciéndose». Así, según la central, «hace unas semanas, a sabiendas de que una de ellas se estaba sometiendo a un tratamiento de fertilidad, han despedido a la otra trabajadora».
(Original)

Continue reading at: https://www.diariovasco.com/oarsoaldea/pasaia/lab-denuncia-pasaia-despide-lesbiana-camarera-20190321185819-nt.html(Source)

 

Refugee lesbians at the mercy of the German bureaucracy

Success Johnson and Diana Namusoke

[Diane] Namusoke, 48, and [Success] Johnson, 27, are two lesbian women from Uganda and Nigeria respectively, who have come to Germany in search of asylum. They’ve explained — first to the police officers who picked them up, then to the aid workers at the refugee centers where they were transferred, and then at their asylum application interview at the Federal Office for Migration and Refugees (BAMF) — that they feared for their lives in their home countries. That as a lesbian woman, nowhere was safe. And now they’re in acute danger of being deported back to the places they have desperately been trying to escape.

Continue reading at: https://www.dw.com/en/lesbian-asylum-seekers-at-the-mercy-of-german-bureaucracy/a-47935658 (Source)

China: Lesbian families struggle under patriarchal legal framework

winky

Same-sex marriage is neither legal nor widely accepted in Chinese culture. Even though Shenzhen is seen as a liberal part of China, Xiao Chen and Winky face plenty of intolerance.
They want to send Phoebe and Sarah to day care, but they haven’t been able to obtain a “hukou” — household registration certificate — for the twins. The certificate, widely seen as outdated, determines a child’s access to education, healthcare and social benefits.
Without hukou, Phoebe and Sarah don’t legally exist in China.

 

In Memoriam: Lesbian Murder Victims (March 2019 Update)

Lesbians in Memoriam

We honour the following sisters:
  • Brenda Lorena Alvarado Montoya (2019) – Tegucigalpa, Honduras
  • Thuthukile Mabasa (2018) – Capetown, South Africa
  • Nicole Saavedra (2016) – Valparaiso, Brazil
  • Sidney Loofe (2017) – Nebraska, USA
  • Anne Mikaelly (2018) – Brasilia, Brazil
  • Unathi Bixa (2017) – Capetown, South Africa
  • Charlene Ranstrom and Brenda Warner (1988) – Nashua, New Hampshire
  • Cassie Hayes (2018) – Southport, Mercyside, England
  • Marielle Franco (2018) – Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
  • Elke W. and Beate N. (2016) – Gersthofen-Hirblingen, Germany
  • Anisha and Joey van Niekerk (2017) – Magaliesberg, South Africa
  • Kaladaa Crowell (and her 11 year-old daughter, Kyra Inglett) (2017) – West Palm Beach, Florida, USA
  • Noxolo Xakeka (2018) – Lwandle, South Africa
  • Kerrice Lewis (2018) – Washington, D.C., USA
  • Shanta Myers and Brandi Mells (and Shanta’s two children, Shanise Myers and Jeremiah Myers) (2017)  – Troy, New York, USA
  • Josanne Maria Almeida da Silva and Ana Paula da Silva Pereira (2017) – Manaus, Brazil
  • Quezia Kassya (2017) – San Paulo, Brazil
  • Georgann Lee Smith (2009) – Sarasota, Florida, USA
  • Ana Flávia Leitão (2017) – Cataguases, Brazil
  • Irani Ribeiro de Medeiros (2017) – Várzea Grande (Mato Grosso), Brazil.
  • Felicia Dormans (2017) – Mount Holly, New Jersey, USA.
  • Lyndsey Vaux (2016) – Wigan, United Kingdom

Continue reading at: http://inmemoriamlesbian.blogspot.com/

Perpignan, France: Lesbian barred from accompanying toddler in Emergency Department files complaint

France: https://mapswire.com/

A lesbian couple went to the police of Perpignan on Sunday afternoon after a nurse barred access to the pediatric Emergency Department to one of them, who is not the biological mother of their 3 year old son, but has parental authority.

Continue reading at: https://sivtimes.com/a-lesbian-mother-forbidden-to-accompany-his-3-year-old-son-to-the-emergency-room/15076/ (Source)

Lesbian Mothers and the Serbian Government

Every lesbian kiss is a revolution

European Lesbian* Conference has been following closely the lesbian Serbian news lately. As the lesbian Prime Minister Ana Brnabic and her partner were expecting a child, our Strategy Dykerector Dragana Todorovic gave several interviews to the media to explain how very peculiar this situation was.

The child is now born and this birth led to the burst of lesbophobic comments. One of the opposition leaders even said «The children are hungry in this country and the son of the Prime ministre can feed on four boobs». Lepa Mladjenovic, a legend of lesbian activism, sent us  a text to react to this news. Her words on the situation of lesbian mothers and the lesbophobia in Serbia are very powerful. We thank her very much for sharing this with all of you, and wish you all a great reading.

Continue reading at: https://europeanlesbianconference.org/lesbian-mothers-and-the-serbian-government-by-lepa-mladjenovic/ (Source)

Lesbian widows – seeking your stories

We are seeking the stories from lesbians to show how anti lesbian sentiment and structures affect us in relation to the death of our partners, wives and girldfriends.

dandelion-843362_1920

Since Lisa died I have joined the ranks of lesbian widows – lesbians whose partner, wife or girlfriend has died.

In this time I have heard stories of how bereaved lesbians have been treated by authorities, families, friends, workplaces, support groups.

Some stories are of personal hostility, others are of legal structures which act to harm lesbians or simply fail to protect us.

We are looking to gather some of these stories for Listening2Lesbians, to demonstrate  how homophobia and lesbophobia, whether by individuals, groups or social structures, can add to the already traumatic experience of losing a partner.

If you lost your partner as a lesbian, and have experiences to share, please write to us at liz@listening2lesbians.com or message us via Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LlSTEN2LESBlANS/.

Submissions can be anonymous to protect privacy.

Lesbian “gay bashing”

Lesbian "gay bashing"

Guest post by Kate Hansen, with thanks to the women who so generously shared their experiences.

 

For feedback or to share your experiences, please email Liz@listening2lesbians.com or message us at https://www.facebook.com/LlSTEN2LESBlANS/


I was in a Facebook lesbian group, when someone posted the question: “Have you ever been gay bashed?” The stories which followed gripped me and moved me.  I decided to pose the same question on other group pages, and I made sure to ask everyone if they would allow their stories to be shared anonymously online.  I felt like these were something which needed to be shared with a wider audience. I don’t know if people even know the level of violence and hate that lesbians face, even in the modern world.  It can be straight up physical violence, or it can be just a series of microaggressions which erode the soul over time. There was no clear distinction between regions represented, dykes in the UK face the same level of violence in the USA.  I do appreciate the uniqueness of the voices. Another thing to note is that the flat out physical violence seemed to happen to those who were gender non conforming or butch, while more feminine presenting women deal with classic sexual harassment.

This story is dynamic and changing.  I believe this is the tip of the iceberg, and we would like to ask for contributions to this project.  If you have experienced gay bashing as a lesbian, please write to us and share, care of Listening 2 Lesbians.

-Kate Hansen


Run over by a car, kidnapped and held for five days. 21 stab wounds, no food and very little water, raped repeatedly and left for dead on the side of the road. I lost contracts in business. Umm ya this is a very sensitive subject. The younger people in our community sometimes forget the sacrifices we’ve made so that they can enjoy the freedoms we have today. Not preaching, just pointing out how violent it once was.


Yes indeed in downtown Baltimore many moons ago but was told I was a waste of a woman. Hate has no room in my life.


As a butch lesbian, born and raised in Alabama and travel for a living, I’ve never been bashed, i have been called out in bathrooms more times than I can count, but once they realized who they’re speaking to they apologized. I also open carry.


Yup. Lost all “friends” in my neighbourhood, went thru 4 yrs of bitches calling me out nearly every day in high school even tho I never came out about it.  Recently blocked a cousin for sending me bible quotes and messages about being an abomination.️ I’m still on top. Honestly Millennials and Zs don’t know how easy they have it.


Got stones thrown at me I came out to a friend and she yelled out ew your gay and a guy heard and he started to throwing them or some Christians quoting bible and parents blaming my auntie about her being gay for me turning out gay.


I’ve had issues with former coworkers on my life choices. Once I was told I was the devil and I was going to hell. She wouldn’t work with me because she didn’t want to catch the gay.


Just the usual from family and sometimes complete strangers. Had one kid start yelling Faggots from his truck to an ex and I when we were driving together. Hit a stop light and he kept smirking until we started talking trash back very loudly. Made him look like an ass. He rolled up his window pretty quickly and turned down a side street. My ex was in the military and I’m built like Xena, so I think we scared him.


Had friends bashed leaving the bar. One friend almost got killed because they hit him with a baseball bat. Put him in a coma for two weeks. He left Tucson after he recovered.. Most of the drag queens carry mace or razors when they leave.


Yeah, 1970s lost jobs and evicted, raped, and TONS of verbal bashing in public places and I was like having the attitude and VOICE to say “FUCK OFF just because my women are hotter than what you get” OR I would say “Your mom didn’t think so last night.” WHEN IN PUBLIC they can’t hit you because the first blow is a violent attack and if I wait I can kick ’em in the nuts in self defense. Always wait to clip the nuts in self defense, then no charges can be pressed really.


Yeah. From the college I attended, as well as several revoked job opportunities when they found out I was gay. Oh and my dad trying to kill me, as well as being kicked out.


When there’s a violent male, the energy is usually directed at my butch partner. We’ve never been bashed, but we’ve gotten out of minor scrapes. For example, my butch ex and I were at a blues bar, and this man became irate with me because I didn’t want to dance with him. She said “buddy, she doesn’t want to dance, leave her alone”. He got annoyed, ok angry, that I chose to be with a butch female instead of him. We left after that. Someone mentioned that we should have got him kicked out, but honestly we just weren’t feeling it after that.

Also my ex husband was violent with me when he figured out that I’m gay.


My girlfriend and I had big rocks thrown at us from a passing pickup truck when we were holding hands walking down the street. She got chased by a man who saw us kissing goodbye at a greyhound station, and he was yelling at her that he would make her like dick while he was chasing her. We were also chased together once, after going to the park around midnight and not realizing there were other people there. This was all around 1992. I haven’t been bashed recently, but I’m more careful now.

I should add that 2 of these events happened in San Francisco.


Beat up by 3 men, 14 broken bones and won’t even say what they did to my girlfriend at the time. Something we couldn’t get over because of my guilt not being able to stop it.


I’m an intimidating bitch, I have issues with guys, I don’t take shit from nobody.

However it’s sad in a way that my family uses it against me when we fight or make stupid comments about gays

Fuck em anyways.

Can’t tell me they aren’t a bit curious!


I navigated the Army during the mid eighties – early nineties; before even “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” I was raped by 4 “fellow” soldiers; they knew they could get away with it; one accusation of homosexuality and my career was over.  We all stayed quiet about it; they didn’t go to prison; I didn’t get a dishonourable discharge……just a vicious case of PTSD.


I have when I lived in a homophobic city/country my dad and a few neighbours my mom shut him up and I confronted the bs with the neighbour’s kid and to say the mom was not happy with him is a understatement . After my mom passed I got thrown out and bounced sofa to sofa ’til I got my own place then was sexually assaulted by a downstairs neighbour and now I got real bad anxiety and ptsd but my ex gf doesn’t understand I don’t want to be around men too much, esp. straight guys like her brother, but you know fuck it I’m about to be out of here real.


Yup,  beat up by three dudes for being a ‘fucking dyke’ one thing I did learn is I can fly through the air like Superman  just need to work on my landing though!


Yes my son’s father told people, I mean like most of our little city that he don’t want that fruity shit around my son that my son is gonna be gay because of me, I’m making him gay! This is my first time ever being attacked like this … And for a dude that hasn’t been around in 5 yrs (my son is 5) but my girl has been around since my son’s first birthday … What the fuck is he, right?   But my god did this really hurt me horribly. I also think that my son’s father is in the closet and maybe mad that we are out and having a good life while he is still hiding. But that’s not my fault I’m a woman no matter what, I’m gonna be a woman whether I’m with a man or a woman, I do women shit everything I do know I’ve done my whole life. Not just since I’ve been with my girl .. I was sooooo offended and felt embarrassed that he went to everyone we know and said shit like this.  Hurts.


1 Circa 1987/88 was a student in Bradford. 21 years old living with a girlfriend, also student but we worked the same bar. She was a barmaid, me DJ. One night walking home from a night out socializing, playing pool, we came home early. 9pm. About 1 minute from our flat, crossing the pub car park neighbouring us, two men stepped out and confronted us. One grabbed g/f basically sexually assaulting her, I naturally objected and he threw a punch at me. Then, I was as strong and as fit as a butcher’s dog. (I can also box, dad taught me) I’m fortunate, know how to look after self and am risk savvy, but this happened so quick. Both men attacked me as I prevented them tearing my g/f’s clothes.One punched her to the side of the head, knocking her out. They both set about me, but realized that I was a going to be a hand full. Eventually, they ran off when they realized about 30 or so punters from the straight pub were onlookers. I got to my feet, picked my g/f up and managed to stagger back to the flat, where our housemates got us attention at hospital. Not one person intervened, watching. When the police questioned us at the hospital, they told us not one witness could be found at the pub! Indeed, they questioned us as to why we were out at that time of night!?! 9pm? My g/f needed stitches to a wound in her ear and I was concussed but the police were determined to dismiss me as drunk. I had been playing pool for the lesbian pub team…not a drop!

One other occasion, same city and about the same time, g/f and I had gone to dinner; celebrating something. We were walking to the lesbian/gay bar in town for ‘after’ when a group of young men, about 15 or so, started catcalling insults. Dykes, queers, etc. What we really needed, you know the score. They ran up to us and I told her to go ahead into the bar and not turn round and if not there in 5 get help! For once, she, reluctantly did as she was told, as she knew what was going to happen, and she had never left me in a situation like that. I turned to face the group but no reasoning was to be had they simply piled on me and began punching, kicking etc. So, I did what I was taught in those situations, God Bless my working class, dog tough old dad, he was a bastard but as hard as nails! I latched onto the biggest by sinking my teeth into his crotch. Face protected, head tucked right into his groin so they could kick me, but he was getting it too. It seemed like forever, but the police came, called by Sarah et al. The mob ran off. Leaving me and the big lad locked on the pavement! I was dazed to say the least and he was yelping like a scalded puppy! Police were going to arrest me for assault, as seemingly, as one police officer said, I could have seriously injured the poor lad biting him there! No witnesses, no admissions from the lesbophobic shit who had started the beating, just me looking bruised and battered. I didn’t cut easily, so must not have been as bad in their opinion. Wouldn’t listen to us…I was a student teacher, my g/f a student social worker, he was a knuckle dragging arsehole, but male so must tell the truth. This was West Yorkshire, 30 years ago, at the height of Clause 28, where attitudes were shocking. However, this is the same constabulary, hounding women for saying there is no such thing as men becoming women! In my early 50s we are experiencing a blatant openness in aggression towards us. This Brexit debacle is emboldening the ignorant, vicious bigots who have lain dormant for so many years.

So many other occasions. Verbal to physical. I’m fortunate, I know how I react in these situations and as old as I get know that my mentality won’t change. My lesbianism is sacrosanct, my love and obligation to protect my partner has meant she has been spared this, as I would lay my life down to protect her, and she knows that. Lesbians need to ally with each other; women. Not men, not interested in what they think they know about us, we must take lessons from what has happened, carrying it into the present so that this blatant aggression surfacing against us doesn’t take us by surprise. It has always been thus!


The really bad one was in 2009 in Thousand Oaks, CA. I had been working on my car all evening replacing the starter, oil change etc., finally finishing around 11 pm. So I took the car out for a drive to see how it was running. I was sitting at a stop light waiting when all of the sudden I was rear ended. The light turns green so I pull through the intersection and then pull over to the side. I get out of the car and start walking to the back to car check the damage and swap information if needed. I never saw him coming because I was looking at my bumper he sucker punched me in the jaw. Next thing I remember I’m waking up on the road in a pool of my own vomit with my rainbow sticker on the ground next to me.

I ended having a broken jaw and a few facial fractures. However that was the last time anyone landed a hand on me, like that.

He did get caught a few months later because he did it again but this time was a gay man that had a camera in his car that caught the license plate of the guy. He was never charged with my incident because no evidence.


I was head butted by a skinhead, I’d left the Pride march, with a few others, to use the loo & when I came out there was a bunch of skinheads waiting outside the mens toilets & a couple outside the women’s. One of them called me a queer & tried to head butt me in the face, but he was way too tall and caught me on the forehead/top of the head, I was shocked more than hurt & I just took of running as fast as I could (I’d have given FloJo a run for her money) I wanted to shout a warning to anyone else in the toilets, but my voice wouldn’t work. It took me ages to get back to the Pride march – I’d run off in the wrong direction & the 1985 London Pride was nowhere near the size it is now – not so many qweer hetz. When I found the women I’d gone to the loos with, they’d come out in a group so they weren’t attacked, just verbal abuse & they’d forgotten me. I’ve had abuse shouted at me in the street, threatened & spat at, but that’s the worst physical violence I’ve suffered for being a lesbian. I have friends who were beaten up coming out of gay clubs & pubs.


Rocks thrown through windows, rainbow flag burned, all windows in both vehicles in driveway shattered and anti-gay language scrawled all over both cars with a sharpie

Motorcycle knocked to the ground

Contents of truck stolen and thrown into the streets of the neighbourhood

Happened around 1AM


When I came out in middle school a boy in my band class would hit me in the head on a daily basis with his drumstick and call me a nasty dyke. Another boy on my school bus would sit next to me and describe how it would feel to suck his dick the whole ride home. I was too scared to report him.


Yes, I’ve been bashed physically by some men; by the police and then the regular verbal butch bashings as well. I think the first time was coming out of a gay bar in my 20s. We were confronted by a group of young men who yelled and threw rocks at us and cornered us. I remember, thinking, why? Why is who I love a concern of yours? It’s inane. As a butch, the verbal lashings have been a constant fare in my life.


Coming out of the Blue Goose, a gay bar in Des Moines, in 1976-77 ish, carloads of straight high school boys would drive by repeatedly shouting slurs. One carload followed me as I walked to my car one night. Thankfully they didn’t do anything except yell. Long ago, far away.


I had  a neighbourhood kid set fire in my house in 1980. She had found out I am a lesbian. 


Several times over my lifetime, but the one time it was pretty bad was after my two friends and I had attended a show in Seattle (I think it might have been Concrete Blonde) and we were walking back to the car and walked past a group of young teens, about 5-6 young men and one woman.  The young woman said “which one of you’s the man???!!! fuckin’ dykes” and my friend who was a smartass (and stupidly risky) said “I am, and aren’t I cute??” and that woman did not like being sassed, so she ran after my friend and started beating her up and my other friend and I tried intervening, but every time we tried to protect our friend, the young men would kick us from behind and knock us down.  We felt trapped and fighting for our lives when we ran up to a bus that was parked at a bus stop and begged the driver to help us. The driver didn’t give a shit and refused to call the cops or help. But luckily, since there were people on the bus and multiple witnesses, the attackers took off. We got back to car and went to the hospital… the one friend had two broken ribs and my other one had a broken wrist, and my back was all bruised from being kicked in the back.  I was truly afraid they would kill us.


I was physically knocked down by a very large man when I was in New York visiting my family. This was maybe 12 yrs ago. My sister and I were walking home from the train and it was in the early evening. A really large wild haired dude came up to us and said Hello ladies. We said nothing back to him and he became irate very quickly. Then he looked at me and said Oh this one’s not a lady! I looked at him and said Fuck you! My sister and I started walking quickly ahead of him but he came up behind us screaming and yelling his head off and then he knocked me down. I fell on the ground, got back up but my hand was injured as I had fallen on it. My sister and I ran really fast and we were able to get away from him. We went to the police later and reported it and they drove around trying to find him. It was a fairly small town, my home town in NY. But they could not find him. In retrospect I think we were in a lot more danger than we realized at the moment. He was like a powder keg of  rage just looking for someone to go off on. Luckily we got away from him but my hand was injured for quite a while after that because my fingers had gotten pushed backward. It’s still scary when I think about it now, his rage.

Now as I write this I’m thinking that that was probably the first and only time in my life that I felt insulted not to be considered a “lady.”


Having people yell “fag” and “dyke” out of cars while walking with my girlfriends.

Having cars full of college age boys honk at us, pull over in front of us as we were walking on the side of the road late at night, open their doors and start to get out to scare us before driving off (or maybe someone in the car talked them out of it.)

Being told “What you should be holding is a dick” by a young male stranger while holding hands on the street.

Being harassed by my girlfriend’s farm boss about my “sexy” clothes one day, and hearing him say he loved saying that stuff to lesbians in particular. When I told others in the farming community about it, they fired me from my volunteer job, said they didn’t believe me and shunned me.

There are others I’d rather not recall or I’ve selectively forgotten.

I’ve lost more than 3 jobs over issues related to being a lesbian, also. People in general become more suspicious of me if I come out to them, even if they act accepting at first, and will sew all kinds of weird rumors about me & bash my reputation behind my back, the moment it would be convenient to silence me. Which really poisons communities against you and makes it difficult to hold your head up and move freely.

I’ve had men act like they were going to hit me, mostly for telling them to leave my gf alone when they were too persistent in bars and she didn’t have the nerve to, but when they turn around and actually look at me, they suddenly don’t want to hit anymore! I’m very small and usually pretty girl-looking, I think they realize it would be absurd.

It’s a constant series of daily microaggressions for me that have affected my life & forced me to have many career paths, put crushing stress on my relationships & given me diagnosed C-PTSD. If I could trade all that for getting hit once or twice, I would!


When I was about 28 I was leaving a gay bar in Buffalo NY, as I was unlocking my car a guy grabbed me around my neck from behind…he called me homophobic slurs and told me he was going to show me a real man…it was summer and very warm, all I had on was a tank top and shorts, he ripped them off of me, punched and slapped me  several times and raped me vaginally and annally…I did not scream, it was in the back of a very dark parking lot…all I did was cry…he threatened to kill me as he left….i was able to crawl back to the bar, bloodied and naked…the few women in the bar took me in, they locked the door, cleaned me up and found me some clothes…we did not call the police out of fear, they called my lover who came and picked me up.

I did not know who he was, nor had I ever seen him before…a few weeks later at work I started getting notes and threats left on my desk at work…this went on for weeks and I was terrified…this was in 1978 and there was nowhere to go to complain, if the company had known I was gay I would have lost my job, so I suffered for many months and eventually quit my job.  The man that raped me was someone I worked with, but I was never able to figure out who he was (big company)…I never went out again alone, received no mental health help, just suffered…My lover, a very large male identified butch, protected and shielded me as did our friends from the bar….but the rape and harassment I keep locked up inside of me for more than 20 years, finally I received therapy and am able to reconcile internally what happened, but it never goes away, it is always there lurking in the back of my mind…


I expected and was heavily defended against the gay bashing and was bashed several times. But what hurt me the most was the butch bashing from within the lesbian community. There was a woman who professed to be a Wiccan witch, who never, ever miss the opportunity to remind myself and others about how male identified I was.  How unacceptable that was, to be a lesbian within a lesbian community and male identify. At the time I was a total separatist. I had no man in my life. I had no interest in them. But the fact that I dressed and conducted myself without femininity, did not rely on any kind of feminine tricks, meant I was male identified. The most devastating Butch bashing, for me, came from my feminist sisters. Ultimately I decided that the wiccans weren’t any nicer than the Christians and let them all go.


I have been shot at, had a person try to kill me by stabbing me with an ice pick, had brake lines cut, lug nuts loosened, been threatened lots back in the day.  Got bashed by women also–“Baby Killer” because I wanted to keep my military job. Lost custody of my daughter because the judge thought she should experience a “real traditional family.”  Didn’t see her for 3 years. There’s more, but I won’t bore you.


1. Yelled at “dyke!” In a shopping mall …

2. Nearly run over by a guy in a car…

3. Threatened with rape by a couple of straight teenage boys who grabbed my breasts and shirt.

4. Three drunk Gay men threatened to rape me. “Hey cunt, you just need a man! stop being such an angry bulldyke. We know a man who will make you like men! Hah hah!

5. Transwoman raped me. ” this will teach you!! You are a bad girl and you made me mad! And don’t you dare say no nasty butch dyke!”

6. Transwoman raped me. “You owe me. I took you to a party, you stupid Lez, you f-ing dyke!!”!

7. Construction workers yelling dyke! Etc.

I have a hella PTSD. And I find most LGBT people are actually not aware of or sensitive to the fact that gay men and transwomen can be misogynistic and lesbophobic and / or rapists or sexual harassment or assault perpetrators.


I’ve been followed when I left a gay bar.  Had to outrun them, first on foot, then in my car.  I finally made it to a police station. I didn’t think that the cops would help me, but I hoped that the men chasing me thought otherwise.  They did give up the chase and I never had to directly interact with those cops. Another time a girlfriend and I had very sinister men calling us slurs for lesbian and woman while coming at us.  We ended up dodging cars (on foot) across a highway to get away from them.


While working@ amazon warehouse on lane letter D someone was trying to close/open pallets and looking for small boxes of like d005 and large boxes for d026 or something and I’m doing a 2 person conveyor job with my back turned and the young republican who during election time routinely yelled “hail trump” and “trump is god” and loved WWE yelled “oh here’s a big D for you, need another one? There’s a D right here!”

I believe that was simple harassment but I reported it instantly and when leaving work he and a friend attempted to run me off the road!

Also had a “queer” female with a “he/him” nametag give me this line following my refusal to declare my pronouns to “him” she went on to say how she never would have guessed I’m a lesbian and went on to talk about how she “used to be a lesbian” and that felt grimey AF to me.


Was out @ 14 so got gum in my hair a lot, probably why I refuse to shave my head ever to prove any point ever because I meticulously cut those candies out of my hair about 4x/mo


I was out with women friends for my 21st birthday. We were all dancing. This guy kept offering to buy me drinks and wanting my number. I repeatedly and politely told him thanks but I wasn’t interested. He kept trying so I finally told him I’m gay. He then became verbally abusive saying  I thought I was too good for him and hoped I got raped. Thankfully his friends pulled him away and they left. I was shaken and thankful my friends were there.


 

U.K: Appeal following lesbophobic hate crime against women and children

milton keynes police

Police are appealing for witnesses after two men made homophobic comments and threatened to kill two women and two children in Milton Keynes. 

Continue reading at: https://www.miltonkeynes.co.uk/news/crime/appeal-following-homophobic-hate-crime-in-milton-keynes-1-8758799 (source)

Israel Recognized Lesbian Couples as Mothers. Now It Says It Was a Mistake

Irit and Einat Zvieli-Efrat with their children.

Israel’s Interior Ministry has been making retroactive changes to birth certificates issued to children born to lesbian couples, deleting the name of the non-biological mother. This was discovered when couples who obtained new copies of birth certificates found that the documents were different from those already in their possession.

Continue reading at: https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/.premium-interior-min-changes-birth-certificates-of-lesbian-couples-kids-1.6197156  (source)

Mississippi Youth Court judge denies lesbian couple adoption of new baby

baby.jpg

A lesbian couple were supposed to pick up their new foster child from Forrest General Hospital in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. On their way home from the hospital, after meeting their new child, they were told a judge changed his mind about the approval.

Continue reading at: https://www.rawstory.com/2018/04/
mississippi-youth-court-judge-denies-lesbian-couple-adoption-new-baby-reason-absurd/
(source)

Lesbian mums can’t register baby in Italy

baby

Authorities in Turin, northern Italy, have refused to register the baby of a lesbian couple.
Chiara Foglietta, a Turin councillor, underwent artificial insemination in Denmark and gave birth last Friday to baby boy Niccolo Pietro.
Italian law sets strict rules for fertility treatment, making it available only to stable heterosexual couples.

Continue reading at: http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-43823692 (source)

U.S: ‘Presumption of Legitimacy’ Applied to Lesbian Parents by Upstate Appeals Court

An appeals panel reversed a Chemung County family court judge’s 2015 ruling that denied the lesbian couple’s motion to dismiss a paternity petition from a sperm donor father to their child.

Continue reading at: https://www.law.com/newyorklawjournal/sites/newyorklawjournal/
2018/01/25/presumption-of-legitimacy-applied-to-lesbian-parents-by-upstate-appeals-court/
(Source)

Lesbian couple sues for son’s US citizenship

A same-sex couple is suing the US government alleging discrimination because one of their children was not granted American citizenship.

Continue reading at:  http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-42781501  (Source)

Ireland: Donegal lesbian IVF mum is denied Irish passport for her son as 1956 law states she’s not the little tot’s mother

Holly, left, and Katie with newborn Griffin

Little Griffin was then born in August after the newlywed couple’s third IVF attempt was successful.

But only Holly, 31, was marked as his mum on the birth cert — with Katie, 34, from Gweedore, Co Donegal, put as a generic “parent”.

However, Irish laws from 1956 define a parent as only a child’s “mother” or “father” and the Passport Office refused Katie’s application for 11-week-old Griffin.

Continue reading at: https://www.thesun.ie/news/1770531/donegal-lesbian-ivf-mum-is-denied-irish-passport-for-her-son-as-1956-law-states-shes-not-the-little-tots-mother/ (Source)